February 2010
9 posts
January 2010
23 posts
2 tags
We should be wearing capes.
“I’m a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make...”
– J.D. Salinger - Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenters
RIP
I've never had a day in my life when I've thought,...
(via wordsbycodi)
Sing it. Had tacos from Cacao Mexicatessan in Eagle Rock last night - revelatory, y’all.
“Anything you dream is fiction, and anything you accomplish is science, the whole...”
– Ray Bradbury (via booklover) (via glamsoda)
Bradbury forever.
“I think the deeper reason people are so inflamed by this petty war is that Conan...”
– Michael Ian Black (via soupsoup)
brought to you by the letters F and U
mel: so all this stuff about obama and the legislature pushing bipartisanship has been making me think about sesame street
molly: because barney frank looks like oscar the grouch?
mel: yes.
mel: also, through kids shows, we're given this myth that we're supposed to cooperate with everyone, and behind every bully is just a sad kid who doesn't know how to interact with people, and that's why he shoved a staple into your lip
molly: oh, shit just got real
mel: but here's the thing - sometimes, you can't cooperate with everyone, and sometimes a bully is just a bully.
mel: and sometimes that bully needs a staple shoved into his lip, so he stops fucking with you.
molly: you're saying that the democrats are acting like tiny mel on the playground and letting staples get shoved into their lips repeatedly?
mel: it was outside of math class, but yes.
molly: what did you do? take karate and defeat the bully in front of the whole school?
mel: nope - again, that's what kid shows teach us.
mel: i watched over the next seven years as he got popular and had lots of friends
mel: then he got a boner in the guys shower room in tenth grade and was ostracized for the rest of high school
molly: so, we should shove staples into the republicans now, instead of waiting for them to get awkwardly-timed boners in the Senate sauna two elections from now?
mel: let's do both. i'll take staples - you're on boner duty.
molly: story of my lyfe.
Jamie Denbo posted this on Facebook and I'm going... →
(via daisyrosario)
yep.
2 tags
Coachella Line-Up (according to LA Times) →
It looks like those sonsabitches are gonna get my money again. But Muse? More like SNOOZE!
(nailed it.)
“I’ll pay you! I’m a comfortable man. I’ve been stealing from...”
– Barkley the Butler
i call mine "the state of affairs"
molly: so the obama kids can't watch jersey shore
mel: how else will they learn about how all Italian-Americans really are?
molly: is it weird that I'm starting to feel sorry for the jersey shore kids?
mel: um, yes?
molly: they're not really doing anything that all mid-20s people haven't done
mel: they're just doing it with more gel, body glitter and rhinestone tigers
molly: I mean, we've all done things we're not proud of
molly: we're just lucky that they weren't showed to millions of people
molly: I mean, if we really stood back with some perspective, I think we'd better understand The Situation.
mel: oh. I get it. All that just to make the reference to The Situation guy.
molly: patience is a virtue, yo.
mel: so you don't really feel sorry for them, do you?
molly: god no.
molly: I'll feel sorry for Jay Leno before I feel sorry for those blown-out bitches.
Fuck A Book Deal, We Need To Think About Film... →
molls:
You tha best, Douglas.
Tryin…tryin…
easy as 1-2-3
mel: BOOM. Barry's going to call for $250 million big ones for math and science education.
molly: PIE R SQUARED, MOTHERFUCKERS.
mel: aww yeah, it's about to get real quadratic up in here
molly: our logarithms are going to beat the shit out of your logarithms
mel: the roof, the roof, the roof is on fire (because we set it on fire with our bunsen burners for motherfucking experimental purposes)
molly: we're dropping some bomb-ass beats on these plants here to see if they'll grow faster
mel: ...
molly: yeah, I ran out of bits pretty quickly. Good thing they're spending this money so kids won't be as fucking useless as we are.
mel: Fibonacci sequence, bitchez!
molly: do you know what that is, or are you just saying a phrase you vaguely remember?
mel: goddammit.
this ain't no party, this ain't no disco, this...
mel: so I'm beginning to wonder why we haven't been invited to the white house.
mel: apparently anybody with a pulse can waltz into a dinner and get a fucking high five from the president
molly: while we, as esteemed pundits who are contributing to the ongoing political discourse, are getting the cold shoulder.
mel: though, to be fair, we are pundits with serious profanity problems and probable undiagnosed personality disorders
molly: you're right. if I was a secret service dude, I probably wouldn't let assholes like us in to kick it with Barry either.
mel: if I was a secret service dude, I would hate that earpiece thingy I'd have to wear.
molly: but I would enjoy the authority and dope sunglasses that came with it.
mel: unforch, I'm too pretty to take a bullet.
molly: yeah, I'm a bleeder.
mel: we should stick to typing nonsense and barging in uninvited to parties in the greater LA area.
molly: i wouldn't have it any other way.
“Was not familiar until now, but: there has got to be a trademark issue here...”
– -BrianVan, In response to the news that Marisa and I are writing a Dealbreaker book. I hoped I would never “need” to respond to something like this, but here goes. Our blog, Dealbreaker, was launched on January 15, 2009. 30 Rock started doing Dealbreaker jokes/episodes starting in May of 09. I...
yes, we can (get our shit together and start...
mel: okay, gotta come clean.
molly: yeah, we haven't talked in agez.
mel: I had a sex dream about barry and michelle
mel: and I sort of couldn't deal with it.
molly: HOLY FUCKING SHIT
mel: don't judge me
molly: NOT JUDGING. I HAD ONE TOO.
mel: HOLY FUCKING SHIT
mel: we are connected through time and space, girl.
molly: was the dream hot?
mel: is the oval office oval?
mel: was yours hot?
molly: let's just say the commander in chief was very commanding
mel: well, i'm glad we got that cleared up.
molly: yeah, missed you, boo.
mel: yay 2010!
molly: happy new year!