the wordhole

all-shookdown:

“I know you don’t feel the same way about me. I get that, I’m not stupid, it’s fine. I’m actually fine with the way things are, that I’m in a constant state of agitation. It’s actually better than any real requited love/sex thing that I’ve ever had. I’m saying that I want to be your friend and it’s okay with me that theres nothing else, but can I just tell you one time the way I feel about you?

Pamela, I’m in love with you. Yeah it’s that bad. You’re so beautiful to me. Shut up, let me tell you. Every time I look at your face or even remember it, it wrecks me. And the way you are with me, and you’re just fun, and you shit all over me, and you make fun of me and you’re real. I don’t have enough time in any day to think about you enough. I feel like I’m gonna live a thousand years because that’s how long it’s gonna take me to have one thought about you, which is that I’m crazy about you Pamela. I don’t want to be with anybody else. I don’t. I really don’t. I don’t think about women anymore, I think about you. I had a dream the other night that you and I were on a train. We were on this train and you were holding my hand. Thats the whole dream, you were holding my hand and I felt you holding my hand. I woke up and I couldn’t believe it wasn’t real. I’m sick in love with you Pamela. It’s like a condition. It’s like Polio, I feel like I’m gonna die if I can’t be with you. And I can’t be with you, so I’m gonna die and I don’t care. Because I was brought into existence to know you and thats enough. The idea that you would want me back? It’s like greedy.”

Devastating.